Well holy fucking shit it's been almost a whole ass entire year since I ever posted on this site!!

I'll be honest, the reason for my inactivity has been because I've been at college and I've been working on projects that are part of the course I am on. I'm on a music course and it's only recently; the beginning of last academic year and also this academic year that I have been taking the course seriously, when I started the course in 2022, I still didn't have any real faith in myself and wasn't taking the course seriously, I basically saw it as "another piss-up course to waste time on". However, as I began to academically succeed on the course, and the possibility of doing a university course in the future (albeit, still at the college campus) became more feasible, I began to take the course more seriously. I even spent more time at home working on music related stuff instead of spending any casual time for myself (which would have been spent playing video games).

Late 2021 to early to mid 2022 was a very low point of my life, I was attending a college that I didn't enjoy being at (this college was a good five minute bus ride away from where I live), I was on a course that I had no interest in taking seriously (it was an introductory course about progression onto either an apprenticeship, employment or vocational courses), and the staff had no interest in actually helping me. If I'd have known about the college I'm at now and the music course I'm on now back in late 2021, I'd have fought tooth and nail to try and get on that course. That's how much I hated the other college I was at, that's how much I hated the other course I was on. Now, dear reader, I'm sure you're asking "Well, why didn't you just quit the course you hated?" And the answer to that is, if I did; I'd either be stuck at home for months until I was able to apply to the course I'm on now, or I'd have to get a job. Finding a job in the UK, especially in the area I'm in, is like trying to find the ark of the covenant, is like breaking into Fort Knox and simply walking out, completely detected with a bar of gold in your hands.

Looking back at myself from Late 2021, all the way through to mid 2022 is like looking at a completely different person. Back then; I was miserable, I felt like a robot, I was resentful towards the staff that didn't see my potential and didn't help me... Hell, to this very day, I still am resentful towards them. They never once looked at me and thought "Yeah, he's not right for this course, maybe we should help him find somewhere else."

Looking at myself now, I'm more content with where I am. I wouldn't say I'm a hundred percent happy, but I am a little bit happy with where I am now than where I was before.

To close, here's a song that I think perfectly sums up how I felt on the course I hated.